I attended my third yoga class within a week. Same gym, same “practice” different teacher . . . different experience. First, one must understand how excited I am to ease back into an exercise routine, one of the aspects of “normal” life I missed the most during Cancer. I’m kind of obsessed. Just selecting a sports bra and pulling on my yoga pants makes me happy.

The Tuesday/Friday teacher was a 30-something, cute waif whose favorite phrase was “allow your body to . . . without judging it.” After 6 months with no exercise, I immediately love anyone who reminds me not to judge my body. Judgement of any type is one of my least favorite sins and when it comes to my current fitness level and body, not judging is essential to even showing up at the gym.

The Sunday morning teacher was a gorgeous Indian woman with milk chocolate skin who looks 40 and is probably 60. She spoke with a nice, soft Indian accent and wore a bright yellow tunic top. Like the Tuesday/Friday teacher, she was quite thin and seemed to know her stuff, but she never once reminded us not to judge our bodies. Quite the contrary, she expected much more out of her students and spoke like a caring, yet disapproving grandmother, reminding us to keep trying as class was almost over.

At the beginning of class, Sunday Teacher asked for a show of hands from those who might be new to the class. Sitting square in the middle of the semi-circle, directly in front of her, I raised my hand high. She acknowledged the two women to her right, the one to her left, but somehow missed me. I wanted to be acknowledged and receive attention just for having shown up. Nope, didn’t happen. Throughout the class, she catered to the new girls to the right and left, leaving me to figure it all out on my own. I felt ignored and left out. I did my best, modifying poses, only when I just had to. And I had to.

Today was a challenge. The class was difficult. I had to deal with the fact that I couldn’t perform as well as many others in the class, and to top it all off, the teacher ignored me. I will return and try harder with a new goal of making it through an entire class with Sunday Teacher without modifying a single pose. I’m already studying the weekly schedule to see how many classes I can fit in this week. I’ll show her!