I answered the following prompt from Writer’s Digest, Your Story #75:
Write a short story, of 700 words or fewer, that begins with the following line of dialogue: “You don’t have enough points, sir.” You can be funny, poignant, witty, etc.; it is, after all, your story.
Voting is open until August 29th and mine did not appear in the finalists so I guess that means I can publish it here. If you want to vote for one of the five great entries, here’s the link:
http://www.writersdigest.com/your-story-competition/your-story-75-submit-now
Now for my story . . .
“You don’t have enough points, sir.”
“Points?”
“Points.” The woman arched her neatly trimmed brows and matched his gaze, golden brown eyes widened. She smiled, splayed her manicured fingers and pushed the heels of her hands against the counter, rolling her chair back, standing as a sign that their transaction was complete.
He clumsily rose to his feet on the other side of the counter, pushed a lock of dark hair from his forehead with a chubby hand and raised his driver’s license into the air, calling after her. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. What points? I just need to renew my license.” He pointed to the small laminated card. “It’s expired.”
“Exactly.” She stopped, turned slightly toward him without a step in his direction and answered in her best kindergarten teacher voice. “And you will not be legally driving, obtaining a passport to travel, or voting until your bank is full of points.”
He flung his arms into the air, face pinked. “I don’t know what you are talking about. What bank? What points?”
“Obviously,” she sang-answered as she stepped back to the counter, sat down and click, click, clicked on the computer keys.
“C’mon.”
She pleaded. “Please change your tone with me or I’ll have to deduct more points from your bank.” Click. Click. Click. She stared at her computer screen, frowning, resting her chin in her palm, fingers curled around her mouth. She looked up at him slightly shaking her head. “And you don’t have any to lose. You’re in the red making you unable to conduct any government transaction other than paying taxes.”
He plopped back down in his chair, leaning in her direction. “What the hell are you talking about?”
Click. Click. Click.
He looked at the floor, sighed deeply, tossed his license on the counter. This is nucking futz! “Excuse me ma’am,” He pushed his hair out of his eyes. “I don’t mean to upset you here. I just need you to tell me what I can do to get my driver’s license renewed.”
Click. Click. Click.
Deep, audible breath. “Please,” he appealed.
“That’s better.” She smiled sweetly and pulled a freshly printed form from a drawer and laid it on the counter turning it upright for him to read. She pointed to the title at the top of the page, “POINTS.”
He pulled the form toward him and began to read the bullet points aloud.
- Love
- Acts of Kindness
- Patience with others
- Understanding
- Giving
- Encouraging Peace
- Spreading Joy
“What is this?”
“The new points program that was signed into law by our president this morning. Haven’t you heard?” DMV Woman perked her head to one side and smiled. “We’re all in special training—started yesterday.”
“You’re crazy!”
“Sir.” Eyebrows cocked, smile on. Hands above the keyboard.
He shoved the paper back toward her. “This can’t be real.”
“Oh! I assure it’s real and you have some work to do.”
“Work?”
“Filling your bank with points.”
“Oh my gosh!” He rested his face in his hands. “This is ridiculous!”
“Do you want my help or not?”
He looked up at her, “I want my driver’s license renewed.”
“Then you want my help.”
“Okay,” he sighed adjusting in his chair to face her squarely. “I’ll play. What do I have to do?”
She slid the points form back in his direction. Tapped it with her pencil point. “It’s simple. Perform acts of kindness, spread joy, and points immediately appear in your bank. Cause peace, make another human or animal feel loved, your points soar. Be unkind, judge, display impatience, and points disappear.”
“But wait. This makes no sense. Who keeps track? How do you even know?”
“Oh! We know!” She opened her eyes wide and nodded her head.
“This is ridiculous!” He grabbed the sheet of paper and his license from the counter and stomped toward the door. Before leaving, he stopped, waived the paper in the air and yelled, “I’m telling you this! We should never have elected a woman President!”
Love this – especially that it’s set in the all-knowing DMV!