Two things happen on April 15th:
- Taxes are due.
- I celebrate my wedding anniversary with BF.
Today, I reflect on marriage and my thoughts on creating a match that brings joy.
“. . . and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one.” Mark 10:8. I’ll leave any interpretation of the scriptures to theologians and philosophers, but just for the fun of it, please allow me to change this one up a bit. I think preacher’s kids are allowed to do this.
My Guiding Principle for Marriage:
And the two shall remain two.
Yes, that’s it, and the two shall remain two. Two individuals, each with a purpose or reason for being here. Each with a set of life lessons. Each giving and seeking encouragement and support toward the realization of his/her life mission. The true gem is a partnership in which each partner encourages the other do what’s best for the them, even when it doesn’t benefit themselves. Selfless inspiration. Allow me a few examples.
When I went back to school to get my Masters in English, UIndy had a sister campus in Athens, Greece and I had an opportunity to attend summer school on that campus. It was BF who said, “I think you need to do it!” This meant he had full responsibility for maintaining our home, paying bills, etc., all the stuff we normally do as a team. My favorite image from that time was when he reported the he, Jessica, and Katie had sat at our kitchen table one Saturday afternoon chatting and doing their fingernails.
There was the time I flew to Ohio to be with my mom for “routine surgery” at a famous hospital there. The routine ended up as BF driving the 6 hours to be with me every weekend for a month while I challenged interns, sang songs with my mom, and tried to figure out what the hell had happened to her during that surgery.
And then there was a few Novembers ago when I decided to spend a month in Florida writing, reading, and doing yoga on the beach. It was BF who drove me to the airport and sent me off with excitement and well-wishes for my personal growth.
I celebrate my 14th wedding anniversary today and I’m grateful we’re together. I’m grateful for an alliance where I feel seen and heard, even when I’m throwing a fit and being unreasonable. I’m grateful for the encouragement to be a growing, thinking, feeling individual. I’m grateful for the love and for the lessons and may we always be in love and always remain two.
*Photo by Maria McKensie https://mariamckenziephotography.com/